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SweenyTod's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-07-13 08:20
Subject:Happiness is
Security:Public
Mood: amused

Lying in bed at 3am, listening to your wife giggle in her sleep.

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Date:2005-06-10 08:29
Subject:A Joke
Security:Public

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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Date:2005-05-31 08:11
Subject:The moral of the story.....
Security:Public
Mood: amused

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking
her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard
heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on
the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the
dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen
them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!"

Moral of this story..

Don't mess with us old guys...age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and
experience!

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Date:2004-05-26 09:45
Subject:Spanky the clown arrested on porn charges
Security:Public

Quite honestly, I think the name should have given it away.

http://edition.cnn.com/2004/LAW/05/25/clown.porn.charges/index.html

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Date:2004-02-26 08:04
Subject:It's official - The End of the World is here.
Security:Public
Mood: shocked

Oral sex can cause mouth cancer.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=594&e=1&u=/nm/20040225/hl_nm/health_oralsex_dc

Kill me now.

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Date:2004-01-31 16:34
Subject:If this isn't the greatest song in history I don't know what is
Security:Public
Mood:Musical

So there.

Pfff

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Date:2004-01-12 08:09
Subject:Shock!
Security:Public
Mood: hot

My clothes are in a state of shock. trickenzie did a mini-rampage through the house yesteday tiding, rearranging and generally upsetting the delicate balance between leisure and clean. Bah Humbug I say.

But she also attacked my clothes and now they're sitting folded in the dresser. This is the second time ever they've been folded, ever. The poor things don't know what to do with themselves, lying there in neat flat piles.

IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!

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Date:2003-12-20 12:12
Subject:Pressie Giving
Security:Public
Mood: hungry

It's days till christmas and already I've given out two presents. I suck at keeping thing secret.

Fun huh. :)

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Date:2003-12-17 12:42
Subject:Ever wondered what the 12 Days Of Christmas would cost?
Security:Public

No, me either, but these guys did.

http://www.pncbank.com/12days/

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No, me either, but these guys did.

http://www.pncbank.com/12days/

<include 'too much time on their hands' comment >

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Date:2003-11-26 08:24
Subject:A geek love story
Security:Public

I gave my wife a domain name + website as a gift some years ago (http://www.trickenzie.com/). She wasn't my wife then, we were just seeing each other.

When I told her about her new email addresses (as many as she wants!) and website she just looked at me and said "You bought me a domain name?"

"Yeah."

This was followed by that utter dead silence men know only so well - it was a pivitol moment...

Then she smiled and nodded. Now she wouldn't live without it.

A geek love story, presented to you by the letters C and O and M.

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Date:2003-11-19 19:39
Subject:It's possible I could care less about something than Australian Idol
Security:Public

but for the life of me, I can't think of it.

Perhaps the black stuff in my toe nails, or maybe cleaning up the volumes of bird crap our bird drops everywhere.

Bah Humbug.

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Date:2003-10-23 17:23
Subject:BEER!
Security:Public

Yes, that magnificant frothy liquid of the gods has taken its rightful place in 30 bottles out the back in the laundry.

Home brew rules.

RULES I TELL YOU RULES!

Now to wait the six weeks before I can drink it. :(

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Date:2003-09-30 13:00
Subject:Reasons for a little boy to not wash his hands before lunch
Security:Public
Mood: amused

"But that dirt is from Yesterday!"

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Date:2003-09-07 19:26
Subject:Bird stuff
Security:Public

My bird drumstyx is settling down quite nicely. He doesn't go into a major panic when we go near his cage, and actually tolerated us changing the water and food in his cage.

He's a very messy eater! Seeds all over the place. Also, the top perch fell down with him on it, and scared the hell out of the poor little fellow. Funny how somebody elses misery is funny.

But you get that.

So far it's been fun owning a bird.

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Date:2003-09-05 19:42
Subject:I got a Father's Day present!
Security:Public
Mood: happy

It's a bird, called a Weiro. The rest of the world knows it as something else though. trickenzie and the boys got it as we drove home from picking them up from school.

At the moment it's very scared and sitting on the bottom of the cage not moving. Poor little thing.

His name is DrumStyx, and I think trickenzie has even made an LJ account for it. She spends way too much time on this site. :) Ok, I've checked, and she has. Welcome drumstyx!

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Date:2003-09-03 13:39
Subject:w00t
Security:Public
Mood: geeky

I've just imported the entire dmoz.org database into mysql.

Sweet. Now to find some way to use it.

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Date:2003-09-01 16:40
Subject:Semagic
Security:Public
Mood: hungry

Hmm - looks ok to me.

Not so long ago I switched from Linux to Windows XP, mostly for the games. I've now played the games and am throughly SICK of Windows XP. I think I'll need to switch back very soon now.

But not just yet. It's still got some cool bits. Mostly the fact that everything I plug into it comes with drivers for it that just work... No more hunting through the newsgroups or google looking for somebody who did this to make it work. Argh

The boys are outside playing. Lloyd bought home some chickens from his school. They're quite cute, but I can't help but look at them and think Red Rooster Hot Chicken Roll.

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Date:2003-08-14 13:01
Subject:Bye Bye Molly
Security:Public
Mood: sad

Today we took our cat, Molly to the RSPCA Animal Shelter. She is such a lovely cat, but too agressive around Lloyd (young master 6) and other small kids. She got Lloyd with a nice left claw to the eye and only just missed his eyeball.

Sigh. The shelter is very good, and she's gonna be ok there till they find a new home for her, but it's still quite sad to say bye to her.

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Date:2003-08-14 06:47
Subject:My Pooter is back!
Security:Public
Mood: sleepy

Bugger - no sound. This sucks. No opengl either, which sucks just as much. I can't play Wolfenstein. :(

I want my games back.

Damn it.

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Date:2003-08-12 19:41
Subject:I'm back!
Security:Public
Mood: calm

Ok, I'm back here in Perth.

Actually I have been for quite some time now, but I've been way too lazy to bother with LJ, which is a shame. It has been interesting settling back into life here. Perth really is very small.

Our house switches between a total disaster, to liveable. Tomorrow we expect it to go back to something we'll need to work at to be only a total disaster. I can't wait. :)

I miss London. Really miss it.

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